Bullying has been an issue for a number of years for a Wallaceburg family.
A person, who we will refer to as Cindy, told the Sydenham Current that her six-year-old son, who attends Grade 2 at a Wallaceburg public school, has been dealing with bullying since he started junior kindergarten.
“The first year he was kicked in the privates and nobody phoned home to tell me,” Cindy said. “I was just left to find that out from my kid. The second year, he was thrown to the ground and kicked in the head. Again, nobody called me. He could of have a concussion or died in the night, and they would have blamed me for beating him.”
She added: “The third year, someone took him by the head and banged it up against the wall a couple of times. Again, no phone call home.”
Cindy said this year during the first week of school, her son got slapped across the face by another child.
She has spoken with the principal over the years, and it is frequently the same children bullying her son.
“The only consequence that they’ve handed out, these children who have physically assaulted him, are not allowed to have recess,” she said. “So much for our zero tolerance on violence. Staying in for recess? I used to love that, that wouldn’t of been a punishment for me.. I would of been great I don’t have to go outside and manage the bees at this time of year.”
Cindy said the school has worked with her and her son, and now has a child and youth worker checking in with him each day.
“This is a puzzling solution for me,” she said. “Rather than address the core issues of bullying in general or punishing the perpetrators specifically, they’ll focus on the victim’s response to being bullied instead? I didn’t argue it though as I saw it as a first step. I’m disappointed however, that instead of trying to prevent these incidents, they seem to be waiting for it to happen again.”
Cindy said more needs to be done on the home-front.
“I think these children are not being taught at home exactly what bullying is,” she said. “You can’t walk around at recess following another child, telling him every time he opens his mouth they’re going to punch him, they’re going to beat him up. He’s verbally harassed at every single recess.”
She added: “I think they need to teach these parents to teach their children what bullying really is. Until the actions of the bullies start effecting their parents, maybe send them home for a couple of days. When the parents have to stay home from work because their child is a bully, maybe they’ll start teaching them home to treat other people. It’s ridiculous. Every parenting book on earth tells you, as soon as they are old enough to know right from wrong, you give them a consequence. You don’t just say well, he’s just a little kid I’m going to let this go.”
Cindy said the constant bullying has played an emotional toll on her son.
“He’s been diagnosed officially with severe anxiety, OCD, which is another anxiety disorder,” she said. “He is so stressed out, he insists that I home school him, I physically have to drag him to school every single day. As soon as he gets home from school every day he starts saying saying he’s sick, he has a cold, he has a fever, he can’t go to school the next day. He doesn’t sleep well. He talks about it constantly, what am I going to do if this happens, what am I going to do if that happens. He’s just beside himself.”
She added: “He’s been in therapy and the therapist have been trying to deal with it with him… because it never ends, it doesn’t have a chance to heal. They’re constantly picking the scab off, any of the work the therapist might do.”
Cindy said she has fears that her son could commit suicide.
“I don’t want my kid to be the next story of a child who has killed themselves,” she said. “He has got anxiety, so it could go in that direction, he’s talked to his therapist about hurting himself. If the school would be willing to bring in a speaker to speak about bullying, and what happens to people who are bullied for year on end.”
The Lambton-Kent District School Board websites states: “Bullying is a dynamic of unhealthy interaction that occurs in a context where there is a real or perceived power imbalance. It can take many forms, including but not limited to physical (hitting, pushing, tripping), verbal (name-calling, mocking, or making sexist, racist, or homophobic comments), or social (excluding others from a group, or spreading gossip or rumour). It may occur in person, or through the use of technology.”
“A power imbalance may underlie bullying as a result of real or perceived differences involving size, strength, age, intelligence, economic status, social status, solidarity of peer group, religion, ethnicity, disability, need for special education, sexual orientation, family circumstances, gender, and race. A positive school climate is a crucial component of bullying prevention and is a shared responsibility.”
The LKDSB website states all employees of the board must take seriously all allegations of bullying behaviour and act in a timely, sensitive, and supportive manner. The principal of each school is also responsible for implementing a bullying prevention and intervention plan.
Here is more information on the LKDSB “bullying regulations.”
We’re working on a follow-up story to discuss bullying policies and procedures with the Lambton-Kent District School Board.
Editor’s note: We chose not to identify the parent in this story and not to identify the school either. We did this to ensure the identity of the children involved would not be made public. If anyone has questions or concerns, please e-mail Aaron Hall at aaron@sydenhamcurrent.ca or phone/text him at 519-365-1079.
I thought all schools had a person, specificly placed outside during recess and at any time out side, to watch kids for this type of behavior.Or is this just for beginners classes?
I would just like to add I too am a mother of a 6 year old child who also attends school in Wallaceburg. I can completely relate to this story as I have also been dealing with the same scenarios. Since my son first started kindergarten he was bullied. It went so far as to him being rushed to hospital for some older students grabbing him and throwing him across the gymnasium floor and into a wall. Luckily he was only bruised for this and did not have a cracked skull. The schools form of punishment for the children who did this was next to nothing. That is only one occurrence. My son was also suspended last year due to a fight on the bus. As he somehow was labeled as a bad child so the driver was told to focus their mirror on him. Some kids behind him kicked him in the back of the leg hard enough to cause a welt as well as a perfect shoe shaped bruise. He did end up fighting back that time and he was suspended for it, the other kids again got nothing. He told the school what had happened and why he fought back they did not believe him. My son has gotten to a point now where he acts up constantly at school because he hates being there, and he knows if he acts out enough they will send him home. Every morning is a struggle getting him on the bus and any more I feel guilty sending him. School is supposed to be a fun place for our children to learn, not a place they fear going to due to being bullied and when they try to do the right thing and tell get told they are making up stories. I do agree that parents need to teach their children about bullying and why it is wrong, but I also think the school system should pay better attention when a child tells you there is a problem listen to them. If a student is to be found bullying another student punish them staying in for recess does not fix the issues at all.
I see many parents and many groups pushing for anti bullying laws and enforcement. While the thought is commendable, practical application is not. Teachers do not want to get involved for fear of recrimination or having to face angry parents.
My solution has never been a popular one with a certain mindset who are happy to sit around a campfire and sing “Kum-by-ah.” Real life doesn’t work like that.
I was a victim of bullies through most of my days in school. I was the wrong religion, the wrong race, the wrong cultural background… bullies really don’t need an excuse.
When I was 17, I started studying martial arts, and now, 41 years later I teach kids how to stop bullying without having to wait for a teacher to intervene. My students don’t become bullies because we teach them the right way to respond, and thus they are no longer bullied themselves.
I believe everyone has the right to defend themselves from harm. As students gain self esteem and self confidence, bullies tend to leave them alone.
It might not be the answer the ultra liberals are looking for, but speaking from experience, both personal and from years of teaching, my method of dealing with bullies is 100% effective.
Uhmm? Why NOT she’d light on the SCHOOL involved? Their teachers and Principal are just as much to blame as the children. If something happens to my kids, and they feel threatened enough to tell me,… I’m doing something about it and FAST!! Like C’mon ppl!!! Give ur head a shake. If someone pucks on you as an adult, do u wait until the next time to say something? No. I put an end to it.
Parents have to stop being scared of how they will be perceived. We are taught Bullys are powerless looking for “control”. Put a stop to it. Pick your kid up, teach him Taekwondo, self defence,… Better yet! Have a chat with them.
Do something. If it was Kindergarten, I’d be on high alert.
I’m speaking from experience. You can’t change what u don’t acknowledge.
Poor kid. He needs some positive reinforcement. Buddy him up with a Football player in a higher grade. Something!
I feel bad for his family, but let’s look at tge bigger picture, if u raise enough Hell,… They will think twice next time. 🙁
My son was teased relentlessly for the last few years that he was in Grade School. It was one boy who was doing it and he even would trip him once they were off school grounds. My son told the Teacher and the Principal. When I went to the Principal the Teacher told me that it was normal pre-teen chatter.and that he need to learn how to deal with it. They knew that my son has learning disabilities and pretty severe Social Anxiety, he was diagnosed at 10, but they refused to do anything about it and turned it around and said that I neglected him and didn’t provide lunches for him. He had plenty to take for lunch he just refused to eat at school because his stomach was too upset to eat. It was always a struggle and sometimes a fight to get him to go to school and he would always come home angry and crying. My son had a Counselor and even he was not pleased with the way the Principal was dealing with my son’s issues. It seemed every time my son or I brought something to her attention we were told that he had to learn to “Deal with it” She never seemed to try and “Deal” with the bully. Even though the other students in his class as well as other students and teachers in the school told the Principal and myself that he was being bullied. It has been several years now and his High School experience has been a lot better. The boy who used to Bully his approached him the first week of High School and apologized for what he did, but the Principal and the grade 8 teacher never apologized for making the issue worse by not “Dealing” with the bullying.
So basically not a thing has changed in the last 35-40 years since I was being bullied in those same schools. I thought we were supposed to have come so far and had made bullying Zero Tolerance 🙁
I was bullied for all of my grade school years and believe me both schools did nothing they would treat me like i was the one who started it and i was the one asking to be bullied by the same person. it got to the point were my mom would drop me off an hour after the first bell and an hour before school was out, if my parents brought me lunch my bully would take it from me and if i didn’t give it to her she would beat me up everyday at school and after school. At one point one of my biggest bullies was my teacher whnever someone else did something she always blamed me she use to always put me in what she called the dummy hat.