Compliment vs. flattery

From The Pastor’s Pen – By Brian Horrobin

Do you know the difference between paying someone a compliment and using flattery?

A compliment is a polite and sincere expression of praise or admiration.

For example, you could tell a restaurant server, “I really appreciate the way you were so patient with my elderly mother when she was struggling to make her order.”

Flattery, on the other hand, is excessive and insincere praise, given especially to further one’s own interests.

An example of flattery might be telling that same restaurant server, “You are the most patient server I have ever had in all the years I have been dining out. You should be manager here instead of that guy they have now.”

Years ago I worked in the food service industry and there were times when people tried flattery as a way to upgrade their table location or move up on the reservation list.

Proverbs 29:5 says, “A man who flatters his neighbour spreads a net for his feet.”

The Hebrew word for ‘flatter’ comes from a root word meaning ‘smooth.’

A man I worked with back in my restaurant days had the reputation of being a casanova the way he flirted with the girls who worked there.

He was definitely a ‘smooth operator’ who used flattery to try to elicit a response.

Disingenuous remarks show no appreciation for the value of another’s work or their character and it is more of an insult than anything else.

A compliment, however, serves to encourage the one being complimented in what they are doing and spurs them on to keep doing it.

Decide today to give a caring compliment rather than resort to selfish flattery.

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